Below is a summary of what was discussed in this topic series:
A cautionary tale
- While grief is an individual journey and there isn’t a one size fits all “correct” way to do it, there are harmful ways to approach the grieving process.
- Using alcohol, harmful drugs, and/or unhealthy habits to get temporary relief can cause more harm than good in the long run and can complicate the healing process by creating additional obstacles. If you find yourself engaging in these unhealthy activities and feel stuck, don’t feel ashamed in seeking help for it.
Healthy ways to “fill the void”
- When we lose someone close to us, a sort of void is created and we will often feel empty. Engaging in a hobby or pleasurable activity can help fulfill us once again.
- Maintaining relationships with friends and family can also help along with diversifying our needs across multiple individuals to avoid co-dependency and disappointment. Think of it like investing in stocks if you are familiar with that concept. The idea is to avoid putting too much dependency on another single person as you might overwhelm them as remember that while they may really care about you, they too might be going through something and may not be able to give you all the support you need so if you have other people to depend on as well, you are less likely to feel disappointed as you have others to rely on as well. Let’s say one day you are feeling really upset and need to talk to someone. You call up your good friend Sam to talk. The conversation goes well. You then learn that you received that furniture you’ve been waiting for but the package was too heavy for the delivery person to take to your apartment. Instead of asking Sam to help you bring it up, consider asking another friend.
- At the time of writing these notes the COVID-19 pandemic was occurring, this presents another challenge to social interactions as loneliness can be more prevalent due to the isolating nature of the lifestyle we are being forced to live under. If you don’t have a good social circle and/or family available, it can be very frustrating at this time because making new friends is not easy. Fortunately, there are a lot of online activities taking place and you are encouraged to seek out online events and give them a try. While they may not bring you as much joy as an in-person meeting for example, they can still help you connect with other like-minded individuals. There are even speed dating events online.